I realized how stupid it was to be freaking out about one pound. If I really am serious about breaking ALL of my bad habits (binging, purging, self-hate), then I need to calm the fuck down and not get trapped in a cycle of frustration related to my weight.
Old me would freak out, try and restrict my way to more weight loss, and inevitably feel horribly deprived and sad and go to Sonic to inhale a milkshake and then throw it up in the parking lot (yes that has happened) (yes that was a low point).
New me is going to relax- I enjoyed an egg, a slice of toast, and a few almonds for breakfast (well, lunch.. I got up at 1..) and I have some vegetarian sushi on brown rice to eat for a snack, and then I will completely enjoy the vegetarian kebobs and fruit salad my boyfriend and I are making for dinner. And if I want a beer, I’m going to fucking drink it.
And in a bit I’m going to do some strength training on the Wii fit, some yoga, and go for a bike ride or a walk when it cools down.
That is a really healthy day and it is simply an unhealthy mind that tries to convince me it’s not.
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