Sometimes I realize that I’ve eaten so poorly at the end of the day and it scares me so much. What if my health slowly slips away because I don’t know how to eat properly? Because that’s what it is - I don’t know how. I don’t know what I should be eating and I don’t know how to make it. I don’t know how to find the motivation to make something and I feel appalled at the idea of eating another bowl of mac and cheese.
I’ve eaten so little since I’ve been home because I feel so powerless over my food. What’s in the fridge has very little to do with me beyond requests I may make and dinner is not my plan. I know I didn’t take the initiative at the apartment to eat properly, but I still did better than I am now because I felt more responsible for my food than I do here. I open the fridge and see nothing that interests me, so I just close it and sit back down.
I know that somewhere there’s a book or website that can help me, but I don’t know how to find it. I need new and exciting suggestions for food that go step-by-step and ease me into the concept of cooking. Lunch is my enemy, because I hate the standard sandwich, hot dog or mac and cheese. But what the fuck else is there to eat for lunch?
After a talk with the wife, more research and a documentary later I have decided to try going partly raw vegan for a month and see how it goes.